The Value of a Paycheck These Days

On Thursday, I got paid for working at my part time  job just as I always do after a pay period where I have worked.   My husband teasingly reminded  in his typical fashion about how I am “bringing home big bucks”.  He always says it like that and I know he is  joking around but I know it also has a purpose.  He is reminding me that while my work paychecks are small, because I don’t work that many hours outside of the house, they are still meaningful.  I am thankful that he always mentions it because it reminds me that what I do in and outside of the house has value.

I returned to my part time librarian job when Baby Nugget was seven weeks old because I felt ready to return and to be truthful I needed something outside of my children to focus on.  Toddlerdom was rearing its ugly head in Mr. Man and baby care is sweet but can be tiring.

Lately, I have been working more frequently than I have done in quite some time because  the departure of a co-worker has left more holes in the schedule than normal.  When Baby Nugget was 8 weeks old, I worked three evening shifts in a row.  Those who knew what I was doing thought  I was crazy to do this so soon after the birth of Baby Nugget, but in truth during that time it was relatively easy.  Baby Nugget was still sleeping a lot so I knew that he would not be too much trouble for my husband during the critical evening period when Mr. Man is  being bathed and put to bed.

To summarize, working since the birth of my second son had been easy.  I did not know what all the fuss was about when I would speak to other people about returning to work post baby.

But lately it has not been nearly as easy.  Baby Nugget is now 16 weeks old.  He is awake more hours of the day than he had been.  He can do lots of cool things now like try to roll over.  He smiles at me when I smile at him.  He coos and “talks” to me. He seems to always be looking at me.  I get the impression that I am the center of his world.  It is great and wonderful.

However, this also means that he is able to tell the difference between me and his daddy.  While he likes his daddy and smiles at hims too, Baby Nugget seems to feel that when he is really upset Daddy is no substitute for Mommy.

My husband does not complain about this to me.  My husband also does not complain to me when I come home at 9:45 pm on Wednesday night after working my four hour shift and he is holding our baby and I can tell that he has been holding our baby for at least the last hour and a half since the toddler went to bed.  I know Baby Nugget has been a handful because the remains of dinner are still on the table and the trash still needs to be taken out for trash day.

I wanted to write this post because in these past  few months since I returned to my out of the house job I have really started to appreciate the value of my out of the house work.  My paychecks are small, but I don’t think I have ever worked so hard just to go to work.

They are hard earned because I usually need to pump at least two separate times so that my baby has enough food to eat while I am away.  They are hard earned because I often need to wake my toddler up from his afternoon nap, change him out the the pj’s he wears to nap, get both boys buckled into their car seats and drive the 30-45 minute drive to my workplace where my husband waits so we can exchange the kids.   They are hard earned because on the mornings of the days I work I try  not  to over exert  or over schedule the kids or myself so we have enough energy in the afternoon to do all the things that we need to do so I can go to work.  They are hard earned because my husband often stays late at work on the days I work so our schedule match just right for drop off and delivery of the kids.  They are hard earned because I know Baby Nugget does his fair share of crying on the nights when I am not home and this affects all of us.

So why do we persist?  What do all these sacrifices add up to?

The truth is that while the extra money I make is nice, it is not life changing.  So it isn’t about the money.

Here are the reasons we do it:

1. We keep doing it because it is good for me to have something that is mine outside of our house. (When Mom is happy everyone is happy 😉
2. We do it so I can stay current in my chosen profession.
3. We do it so my husband can have time with our sons outside of time when I am there.
4. We do it so that  I can get a feel for what my husband might be feeling when he is at work and so he can have a taste of my life as well.
5. We do it because it encourages us to keep giving Baby Nugget a bottle.  (We stopped giving Mr. Man a bottle around 8 weeks old and when we tried again a few months later he would not take it which left us in a conundrum where I could not be away from Mr. Man for more than a few hours until he started drinking from a sippy cup).
6. We do it so I have other things to talk about besides our children.
7. We do it to inject a little extra stress in our lives (just kidding)

I can honestly say though, I don’t think I have ever worked so hard just to get to work.  It is worth it though.  This time in my life really makes me appreciate having a job. It makes me appreciate having a partner who supports what I do.  It makes me appreciate the struggles that others might have in getting to work.  It makes me appreciate my family.

I think that is what struggles in life do.  They are a gift and they help us appreciate life so we don’t take it for granted when times are easy in our lives.