About a week and a half ago I saw the author David Sedaris read from his newest book Calypso at the Keswick Theater near Philadelphia. I was really excited to go. It was my Christmas present from Mr. Katie. I have wanted to hear him talk for some time now.
I remember back in the fall of 2004 when I tried to hear him talk at Seton Hill College in Greensburg, PA but seats sold out before I could buy tickets. At that time he only had a few books out but I liked them all especially Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked. In the years since then he has written many more books.
There was a period of time when I was tired of what he had to say. How many stories can you hear about his family after all? Also I some of his stories appeared in more than one book and I felt a little taken when I bought one his books in hardcover and I already knew some of the stories. Then there was the time he wrote a fiction book for grownups about the star-crossed love between a squirrel and a chipmunk and I wasn’t really feeling that.
But I think that I have fallen in love with him all again in the last two or three years. This might be terrible to say, but I think his work has gotten better since the suicide of his sister in 2013. There is more of an edge to it or something, maybe it seems less fluffy.
He was worth the wait to see live by the way. He came off as being very down to earth and friendly. Without really trying to, I stood within 5 feet of him twice that night. The first time, it seemed as though nobody else even noticed that he was there. The way it happened is that after I walked through the metal detectors, as Mr. Katie and I entered the theater, I noticed him sitting in a folding chair behind an unassuming plastic table that was blocked off with those ropes that they have at airports. There was on theater security guard blocking the entrance to go through the ropes and it looked like one fan was having a personal visit with him at the table. Still I was within talking distance to him. If I shouted, I am sure he would have looked up.
After the performance, when the show was over, the audience was invited to meet him and get his autograph. Mr. Katie and I decided ahead of time how much time we could allot for waiting to meet him. The line was already pretty long by the time we passed it so we continued toward the exit. But right before the exit, as I stood in almost the exact spot where I saw him earlier in the evening, I saw him come from the double doors from the theater. He had a small entourage of maybe two people, he walked near me, really just a few feet away, and back to his chair behind the plastic table. Pretty cool I thought, maybe even better than an autograph.
Then we went home where my husband’s lovely aunt and uncle were babysitting our children. On Saturday, the next day, I was cleaning out my purse and found my ticket stub. The ticket stub from the picture. There was a time in my teenager hood in the 1990’s when I would most definitely put my ticket stub in a special box. I would have taken it out periodically and looked at it to remember the fun time I had. I might even have saved it in a photo album with pictures of that night if I had them.
But I don’t get enough sleep now and I might not be as nostalgic as I once was. Instead of saving it in a safe place, I just handed my ticket stub to three year old Mr. Man when he asked if he could have it as I was cleaning out my purse I gave it a millisecond of pause but I still gave him the stub.
That was that until, this past Saturday night, a week later when I remembered the ticket stub. While sitting in the bathtub, I was overcome with the urge to find it as soon as possible. I thought to myself, I never even shared that I was going to see David Sedaris on social media. I could have told people on Facebook. I could have taken an artsy picture of the ticket and shared it on Instagram. How will people know that I did this? Does it even count if I don’t share it with other people?
So that is what I am puzzling over right now- what does that even mean “count”? Am I saying experiences don’t have value unless I share about it on social media? Is it like we give ourselves and each other points for experiences had? Are points are awarded is by sharing our experiences with each other on social media? Is this why we do it?
I did feel a little like my Christmas present wasn’t getting full credit because I did not post about it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this idea was maybe a little messed up on my part.
My husband hasn’t checked his facebook account in more than a year and doesn’t do any other forms of social media. I say that I am the one who does social media for us so I can keep up on what is going on and report back to him. But I know that it is more than that. As a mostly stay-at-home mom, Facebook keeps me connected to the outside world. It is how I arrange playdates and meetups and keep up with people.
Yet even more than that, I do think I derive a certain amount of my self esteem from how people react to what I say or what I am doing. I think a lot of us do. I don’t really know how to change my thinking. I like to share with people what I am up to and I just don’t have the time to individually text everyone I know about what I am up to. I also like to tell people about my blog; honestly, it is how I drive a lot of the traffic to my blog. Also by sharing what that I just went and saw David Sedaris, for example, I might meet other Facebook friends who like David Sedaris too.
In Summation: If I could change my thinking so that I could just enjoy the personal satisfaction that comes from doing something I really love without thinking about if others will react to what I am doing, that would be great but I don’t think I am going to get off of social media. I guess it is just something I need to be conscious of.
How do you feel about your relationship with social media?
Tell me in comments secion, I am interested!
Until next time 🙂
When I am doing something fun or interesting or new I often find myself thinking about how I will talk about it on Facebook. I don’t always post these things, but I think it helps me organize my thoughts.
Hi, Katie!
Here are some of my thoughts:
1.) I, too, thought that I was “tired” of David Sedaris for awhile. I thought that his work stopped being interesting. Also, the original “narrative” that I heard that he was down on his luck, working awful jobs and reading his work in coffeehouses, until Ira Glass “discovered” him. Then I learned that his sister is Amy Sedaris from Comedy Central. I thought, “Well, it sounds like he actually came from privilege and a network.”
2.) After Mom died, I thought about Sedaris’ essays about his mother’s own illness and death of cancer. I also thought about his essays about his sister’s death.
3.) I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking, “If a tree falls in a forest and makes a noise, and nobody posts about this on Facebook, did this actually happen?”
4.) I remember that back in January 2017, several people that I knew posted on Facebook and / or Instagram about their participation in protest marches, including the Women’s March. It seemed to me as if this was the “trendy” thing to do and then post. This month, I didn’t see anybody that I know post about political activities / protest marches, etc. This bothered me. I thought, “Oh, I see. This is now longer trendy. People don’t have to show off on social media about their participation now.”
5.) I know that I am guilty of posting on Facebook about political events that upset me. However, I now feel guilty about posting on Facebook about stuff that upsets me. It seems to me as if Facebook is becoming a place where people just show off about how outraged they are over the political climate.
6.) Good thing that you didn’t post a photo of the ticket before the event! i read that a lot of ticket fraud is being committed against people who post ticket photos online.
True to all of what you are saying!
So here’s a dilemma that I am trying to solve for myself: If I stop posting things on Facebook, how will I promote my blog?
Sometimes post my blog on message boards, but many of these boards have rules against stuff such as this.
I set up my newest blog with the intention that this blog would serve as my platform when I eventually write a book and / or introduce a podcast series.