My Secret New Year’s Resolution

My work look.

Several months ago I wrote a piece on going back to work after having a baby it was called The Value of a Paycheck These Days. In it, I summed up what it felt like at the time to go back to work after having a baby.

I realized that I have some more thoughts about work and motherhood so here they are:

Lately, I feel like I have had some conversations with people about my job that leave me feeling a little bit uneasy for some reason. Sometimes those conversations go something like this:

OTHER PERSON X: It is nice that you have a part time job so that you can get out of the house and talk to other people.

ME: Yes that’s true

Or sometimes the conversation goes like this:

OTHER PERSON Z: It is great that Mr. Katie is so supportive and good with the boys so you can get out of the house and have a break from the boys by going to work.

ME: Yes, I am very lucky.

And I am very lucky, Mr. Katie is great with the boys and is very supportive of my decision to work part-time.

I do appreciate people’s interest in my other job (besides being a stay-at-home parent) and my life. Ultimately, I am aware that by having these conversations people are just trying to get to know me better and understand my life better. I usually don’t tell the whole story though. I have been holding back on telling the crux of the situation because I always thought that it was impolite to talk about money in polite conversation, but it seems to me that the time has come to reveal the truth.

I am still paying off my student loans. I probably would still work part-time while caring for my children at home during the day even if I didn’t have student loans but student loans are certainly a part of my current situation.

Though my work provides me with many outlets such as: professional conversation with customers, networking and friendship with co-workers, and something to think about beyond my family; I also enjoy the financial benefits of my work. I get a lot of out of it but there are still hard shifts sometimes; it is work after all.

Until publishing this post, I had a secret New Year’s resolution: I am attempting to use every paycheck that I make this year go towards additional student loan payments. By the end of the year, I hope to make a bigger dent than I would have made otherwise towards my student loans. If I continue on my plan, I still won’t be finished paying off my student loans by the end of this year, but I will be significantly closer.

I want to tell this story because this story is different than the story that the media sometimes tells about people and their student loans. The media often profiles people who are paying on their loans for a long time because they choose colleges that they can’t afford and they keep opting not to pay on their loans. I see the people often portrayed in these stories as often having the same story. It is a type and if I had to guess I would predict that there are many people like me out there who made responsible choices and are chipping away at their loans every month and have been for sometime.

If my story were to appear on the Today Show or in an internet article it might go something like this: I attended a state school (Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education University) for my undergraduate education and graduated on-time in eight semesters. My parents helped with some of the costs. I received student aid in the form of a Stafford Loan and work-study. I started paying on my loans as soon as I was required to after graduation. I got a job and made my payments on-time. Four years later, I decided to pursue a graduate degree in a different field because I was passionate about the subject and I attended a state-sponsored university (not a the same as a state school) that was located in-state and again I borrowed money in the form of Stafford Loan and a small private loan. I finished my program in 11 months and took more than the recommended course-load per semester to save money.

I used to feel like my student loans were a secret I had to keep from my friends and peers because I thought that people of my age probably had paid off their student loans by now. But I think it is time to talk about it because it is part of my work picture. I also think that it is time to de-stigmatize student loan debt.

When I decided to pursue graduate work many people were scared for me and the amount of debt that I would take on by pursuing it. There seemed to be a lot of fear that it would hinder my life or I would be able to pay it back. I think this fear partly contributed to my shame about having student loans.

I have been paying on my undergraduate loan since 2002 and my graduate loan since early 2007. I have only taken one deferment since I started paying and that is the time during which I was enrolled in graduate school.

When I first graduated I felt that it was acceptable for me to mention it to people because they knew that I was a recent graduate and I must have loans but as time wore on I felt like it was something I needed to hide since my graduation was not so recent.

I am writing this post today because I feel that the process of paying down college debt has been empowering for me. It has allowed me to see my education as an investment. I like what I do and I enjoy my work. I don’t regret borrowing money to attend college and graduate school. I know that people were nervous for me when I decided to go to graduate school because I would be taking on more debt and I appreciate their worry. They didn’t want to see me get stuck in a tight spot. Investments aren’t something to be taken lightly. However, paying off this educational investment ultimately helped me to believe in myself even more.

To illustrate what I mean, recently, I logged onto my student loan lenders website and saw the amount that we paid down thus far and I felt proud. I felt like we worked hard to make that progress. I made some of those loan payments before I went to graduate school. I made some of the payments at while I worked at my first job after graduate school but before I met Mr. Katie and we made many of the payments together after our marriage. While looking at those numbers I felt proud. I might be exaggerating but I felt like if we could do anything. It was very empowering.

We are almost there! I feel pride in that. I am not looking for this post to be a soapbox. We all make our own choices I just want people to understand that my job is more than an esoteric hobby.

That being said, when I am done paying off my loans I will still probably work as a librarian.

4 Replies to “My Secret New Year’s Resolution”

  1. Another excellent thought provoking blog entry. You have made an excellent point. Your education is an investment. We don’t hesitate to invest in homes, cars, possessions- and go happily in debt for those things. It’s unfortunate that it’s impossible for deserving people who want to better educate themselves to not incur debt- but that’s the system we have. You have an excellent attitude- work is hard, but paying off that debt feels so good.

    1. Thank you so much Aunt Heidi and as always thank you for reading and supporting me 🙂

  2. I have told my high school students for 16 years now, “ I’m still paying off loans 20 years later. Do you think I care? No because I’m doing what I dreamed of doing in life.”

    1. I like that you are honest with you students. I think sometimes in life we get the subtle message that we should be quiet about thing that are real so I am glad you are being real with your students.

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