[Disclaimer: This post mentions throwing up, so if you are squeamish this post might not be something you would like to read]
I have a record that I am not so proud of. Over the past two months, my son has thrown up either in the car going to, at, or as soon as we got home from three different children’s parties. Mr. Man’s sicknesses happened in that order too. The first time it happened we were on our way to a party. The second time it happened we were actually at the party. The third time it happened was almost immediately after we arrived home from a birthday party.
I feel I owe an apology to the party hosts and guests. So to them I say, “I am sorry I brought my son’s germs to the party you hosted or attended”. I also feel bad for the nice people who cleaned up the area around the seat I was sitting in when Mr. Man threw up on me at the second party in the streak. Those kind people metaphorically jumped on a grenade to make my life easier. If any of those people are reading this post I want to say, “Thank you, I know that what you clean up was very unpleasant and I appreciate your help and generosity more than you know. I hope karma rewards you for your kindness. I send you plentiful blessings.”
However, the person I feel especially sorry for is my son. I need to tell him:
Mr. Man, I am sorry I brought you to two of those parties even though you had a cold on both occasions and on one occasion when your were actually running a temperature. Both times, it seemed like a good idea. I thought you would be fine, but maybe I underestimated how you were actually feeling. I should not have taken you out of your nice warm house. On the occasion when you threw up in the car on the way to the party, your father and I debated in the front seat about whether we should turn around and just call it a day, but we decided that we were already halfway there and we might as well just go. I am sorry. We made this decision without considering the way you were feeling in the equation. You showed us how you were really feeling when we pulled into a drug store near the party (to buy you cough syrup) and we saw a sad boy with throw-up on his shirt. To that I say, Mommy and Daddy did not score a great win in parenting that day and we felt very badly when we saw you in your car seat. I apologize, Mr. Man, we are not perfect parents.
In my defense, Mr. Man did not have any classic warning signs of being sick at probably the most dramatic of the incidents in the Child-Sickness Party Streak. This would be the second incident of the streak and in this situation, Mr. Man seemed fine when we left the house for the party. He had no temperature nor did he give off any signs of being sick. He was excited and happy to be at the party which was held at a gymnastic’s center for young children.
Mr. Man spent the play hour of the party trying out padded tunnels, mats and the interesting pieces of gymnastics equipment. He loved running over the long trampoline in front of a window that overlooked a train track. I think a train even chugged passed at one point. He could not get enough of the ride-able car toy which was on a toddler roller coaster track. He probably rode it at least five times before other children discovered it and wanted to take a turn. In this situation, there was no hacking cough or fever to worry about–my guard was down and we were enjoying ourselves immensely.
After the gym part of the party, we were led to a room with food and drink where Mr. Man and I indulged in several of the delicious snacks the hosts provided for the children and grownups. In my naive mind, I thought he drank two juice pouches and most of my bottle of water because he was thirsty, but now in retrospect it seemed like all that drinking was the first warning sign that something was off with Mr. Man. Then he wolfed down a plate of veggie straws and some french fries and cake among other things almost as if he was trying to settle his stomach. He seemed hungry even though he ate some frozen pizza before we made the half hour car trip to the party.
It was when I was helping him eat ice cream from one of those small, hard round party cups that things took a turn for the worse. He looked at me and started crying loudly. I assumed that he had an ice cream headache so I picked him up to comfort him. A few seconds later he started throwing up all over me. It was a lot of throw up. This is when the nice party guests stepped in to help me clean up. They gave me the gift of being able to walk out of the room with my dignity slightly intact.
Unfortunately, as luck would have it, the outside temperature for that day was about 5 degrees Fahrenheit and the windchill made it feel even colder. Luckily for Mr. Man, just that morning I had inventoried the diaper bag and decided to pack a winter weather outfit for him. He felt much happier after I cleaned him up in the bathroom and smiled a lot. He even wanted to do some running around in the lobby of the gym while I packed up our things and tried to put our shoes on. He seemed no worse for the wear. In fact, he seemed perfectly fine. I however, put on my coat, which was luckily not involved in the incident, and had to drive home smelling of badly in our partially warmed-up van. So boo for me, but I was glad that Mr. Man did not seem too damaged by the incident.
I think the thing that I learned from these incidents is: Don’t go to a party if your child is not feeling well. In two of the incidents of the sickness streak, we had enough information about how Mr. Man’s was feeling that we could have made the decision to stay home before we left the house.
So why did I do it? For me, I know there is an element of being afraid to cancel plans at the last moment wrapped up in my decisions to go to the parties with a sick child. I don’t want my friends who are parents to think of me as the person who always cancels. However, there is a point where that should not matter. It is much better for everyone if I just stay home with my sick child. Party hosts might momentarily care if I cancel at the last moment, but ultimately it is the best decision let my child rest and leave our germs at home.
So I will take this nearly learned lesson and apply it in future situations. For friends who I cancel on in the future, please do not take offense – I am doing this for the benefit of all of us.
I love seeing my friends and Mr. Man loves seeing his toddler friends, so to party hosts- Thank you for inviting us but I am glad that we do not have any parties in the near future!
