Labor and Redemption and How I Found it with Baby Nugget’s Birth- Part II

When we last left off in Labor and Redemption and How I Found it with Baby Nugget’s Birth- Part I I was recounting how Mr. Man’s delivery in November 2015 left me feeling a little fragile and not quite ready to face the first year of parenthood.  Feel free to click on the link and about it if you missed the first installment.

This uneasiness with early parenthood and the difficulty of Mr. Man’s birth caused me to feel a flurry of emotions when I learned I was pregnant again in June of 2017 when Mr. Man was 19 months old.  I was of course very excited because Mr. Man brings so much sunshine to our lives and I knew that I new baby would bring much love to our lives as well, but also terrified.

The early days of parenting Mr. Man were very intense for me and I was not sure I was ready to go down that rabbit hole again. Additionally, I was also very sure that I need labor and delivery to go differently for me this time.

I told my husband that I wanted a planned c-section. I was convinced that this was the answer because it could be planned and I could predict to a certain extent how it would proceed.  I have never had a c-section but I could learn about the procedure, the risks, and the recovery afterwards.  My husband thankfully reminded me that a c-section is major surgery and is not to be trifled with.  I took his counsel under advisement but thought to myself that I might still want one anyway.  Ultimately, I decided that I did not have to make up my mind about delivery yet and would speak with my doctors about it in a few months.

Truthfully, I was not even sure I wanted to stay with the same medical practice that delivered Mr. Man to provide my prenatal care.  I decided to see them on a trial basis and to reassess if at any point it did not feel right to me to continue going there.  I was of a mindset that I knew the strengths and weaknesses of the medical practice and the hospital I had delivered Mr. Man at and that changing practices or hospitals might actually make me less happy.  I thought “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know” which I realize is a weird thought to think when you are deciding on a hospital and medical practice to deliver your baby.  Also while this might seem secondary to some, the medical practice in question is very conveniently located to places I go to frequently. It is also right the main road that connects where my husband and I work and our house and would be convenient for dropping Mr. Man off with my husband when he is coming home from work and I am going to doctor’s appointments.

As the fall arrived, I began swimming recreationally at the YMCA  because it was the most comfortable form of exercise for me during pregnancy and I have never been all that into running.  It was during this time spent swimming that I decided that I did not want a c-section but instead I wanted a low intervention labor.  I decided that the most favorable labor for me would be a labor that did not involve epidurals or inductions.  I decided that my bi-weekly swimming sessions would be training sessions where I focused on my goal.  I started doing mind exercises while I was swimming where I reminded myself what I was working for.

I decided I would find out what vitamins and minerals would most favorably help me have the type of labor I wanted and I would make sure I ate foods high in those nutrients like bananas for potassium to help with muscle contractions and iron so I would not hemorrhage after labor.  I decided to tackle childbirth like I was preparing to participate in an athletic event or like I was going to war.  I decided that this time I would be super prepared and hopefully have a more favorable labor and delivery.
I also knew that I would need a luck to be on my side if I wanted things to work out in my favor.  When I think about luck I think about one of my favorite books, Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers. In it the author explains that some of the most successful people in history like Bill Gates and Robert Oppenheimer were smart and hardworking but they also had luck on their side and that ultimately propelled them to succeed at their goals.

But-I also knew another lesson about luck. You learn to be lucky.  I think I learned that lesson in the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.  What I believe this means is that through preparation one can stack the odds of having good luck on their side.
As my due date got closer I decided to prepare myself in other ways for a low intervention/ no intervention labor.  I read Ida May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ida May Gaskin and decided that I wanted as natural of a childbirth as I could get away with at have at a hospital.  I also signed up for a hospital tour to learn about what changes had been made in the labor and delivery floor since Mr. Man’s birth there two years ago.  I asked questions on the tour such as “Do I really have to have an IV?” and “What if I don’t want to do fetal monitoring during labor?”   I read websites and articles by midwives and natural childbirth advocates about how to have a natural childbirth in a hospital setting.  I even purchased a few essential oils and learned how to use them in a way that would give me the childbirth outcomes I desired.

The biggest point I learned from all of my reading was something I had heard two years ago but failed to act on previously —If you want a low intervention labor, stay away from the hospital for as long as you can manage, try to labor at home until you reach the 5-1-1 pattern [contractions that come every five minutes, last for one minute, and continue this way for at least an hour on average].
More than once my husband had to remind me that the doctors and nurses at the hospital are there to help and that nobody is trying to stick it to me.  He reminded me that they were on my side and were not working against me.  Even so, at times I had a hard time remembering that they weren’t out there just to foil my plans of a natural childbirth..

So How Did It All Work Out?
After all of this studying and preparing I want to say that  Baby Nugget’s birth worked out the way I hoped it would.  Baby Nugget arrived 4 days after my due date at a healthy size of 9lbs 4oz and 21.5 inches long on a mild late February Saturday morning.  I had the natural labor of my dreams.  I did end up getting an IV in my arm and fetal monitoring but it did not impair my ability to move around and it did not affect the way the labor and delivery proceeded.  I did not arrive at the hospital into I was in active labor so I was there too late to get an epidural anyway which removed the temptation for me to get one. (I need to be protected from my own impulses).

Baby Nugget’s labor was relatively short and he was born within two hours of arriving at the hospital.  I might have been the only laboring mother on the labor and delivery floor at the time Baby Nugget was born because at one point there were probably five nurses standing around me encouraging me to push.  I got a lot of personal attention during his birth and the nurses were very attentive.  Once we were taken to our room after Baby Nugget was born my husband and I commented to our nurse that everything seemed more relaxed this time and was there some sort of policy shift since we had Mr. Man.  She told us that weekends on the maternity floor are either very busy or very light and relaxed.  For us this were definite change over last time where it felt like the staff were very busy and things felt a bit stressed.

In the days leading up to Baby Nugget’s birth I started to get nervous that he would come extremely late and my medical practice would coerce me into having an induction.  More than once my doctors asked me about Mr. Man’s birth size and commented that this baby too would be large and was I sure that I wanted to go past 41 weeks if that were to happen.  But I did not end up being pregnant until 41 weeks, so there was nothing to worry about. Also on the day before my due date one of my practitioners told me in a relaxed way that they would let me go for at least another week and a half before an induction would be scheduled.

Here is Baby Nugget’s Labor Story:
Baby Nugget’s labor started the night before he was born in a very non-dramatic fashion.  I began to feel some slight cramping sometime around dinner time which slowly escalated in intensity as the evening wore on.  By 11:00 pm that night I clued my husband in that we would need to stop watching the Olympics with my father because our baby would be coming soon.  Then we went upstairs so I could labor in our room while my parents slept in the bedroom on the first floor and our son slept across the hallway in his room.

I used my exercise ball to lean on during contractions and I played my labor playlist on a portable speaker at a very low volume so as not to disturb the other people in our house. My husband used some of the acupressure techniques he learned online to help me relax.  After 1:00 am my husband remarked that we were getting close to the 5-1-1 rule so we decided to get our bags in the car and tell my parents we were leaving for the hospital.  I was nervous about having contractions in the car because I could not move around but it ended up being okay except the fact that I started getting nauseous in the car as we got closer to the hospital.  By this point, it felt like my contractions were getting much closer together and were getting more painful.

We entered the hospital through the emergency room and by the time we were escorted to labor and delivery I was in full-blown active labor or transition as it is called.  It was after 2 am by this time.  I think I came off like a lunatic to the labor and delivery nurses but they dealt with me well and asked me about a million questions while I moaned and got through the contractions.  I am grateful that I got to the hospital when I did because had I got there earlier I most certainly would have asked for an epidural.  As it was I got there to late to get one.  Active labor was painful but the pushing phase was much quicker by 2 hours than my previous labor so I will take it!

Our little Baby Nugget appeared at 4:23 am on Saturday, February 24th and we were so incredibly happy to meet him.  We had not found out his sex beforehand so we had that surprise to look forward to. Our hospital practices kangaroo care were mothers get to hold their baby for at least an hour after birth before the baby is cleaned up and weighed.  I held Baby Nugget until my eyes starting getting heavy and the nurses passed him over to my husband to hold.  I watched my husband hold him while dawn broke and I watched the sun come up through the windows behind them. It was the perfect morning.

Why Do I Feel Like This Labor Was Redeeming for Me?
I really did feel differently when I left the hospital this time.  I felt happier and ready to take Henry home and be his mom.  It might have been because I had already had experience with a newborn under my belt.  It might have been because I had a longer hospital stay this time. Since Henry was born in the early morning it was like I stayed at the hospital almost a day longer than last time.
It might have also been because I was lucky and had the birth experience that I wanted.

Here is something I did show you yet. 

This labor was redeeming for me because I felt a lot of anxiety about second time parenthood before Baby Nugget was born.  Getting the birth story I had hoped for really gave me a lot of confidence that everything was going to be okay.  It helped me know that I am capable of parenting a toddler and a newborn.  I feel like it really set me off on the right foot in this journey.

The broken blood vessels in my eyes are almost healed now but I still have the proud feeling in my heart that I gave birth to a 9lb 4oz baby the way that I wanted to.  Baby Nugget is a sweet baby and it makes me happy just to stare at him and snuggle him. Mr. Man is adjusting to being a big brother and seems to be quite taken with his little brother. My husband went back to work today and thought it will be hard not to have him at home everyday I know I will be better than alright being home with my boys.

Thank you for reading!