They are big and loud. They are here to interrupt your picnics. But could they actually be a force of good? Find out what positives cicadas are bringing to your world. Read on!
9 Amazing Opportunities The Arrival of the Cicadas Have Provided Us With!
1). Think of them as large, noisy, irritating, but very magical and special dragonfly-like creatures. If they weren’t so annoying, they might be majestic enough to be memorialized on the type of bumper sticker that you might see on a car like a Subaru Outback.
2) Cicadas give you the opportunity (on top of post-vaccine-world stress and a rainy Memorial Day Weekend) to stay inside, cross your arms, and frown.
3) A walk in the woods right now gives you the opportunity to experience what jungle living might be akin to. Just close your eyes! You can almost pretend that their dulcet tones are those of chattering monkeys or colorful little tree frogs making their special noises in the trees. Try it yourself!
4) If you decide to stay inside and frown during the cicada occupation, you could write an introspective, navel-gazing blog post about the emotional valleys and troughs you have been thru these past 14 months. People are dying to read that kind of material right now. Just see all the likes you get when you post it!
5) If you are an adventurous cook, you could grind the cicadas down into a flour or a protein rich porridge. If that doesn’t entice you sufficiently, dip them into chocolate and make a crunchy, decadent treat. Yum! Move over chocolate covered crickets, there’s a new dessert in town.
“The chocolate coating makes them go down easier!”
~Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
6) Gardeners can rejoice: Their dead exoskeletons are probably a nutrient-rich and possibly organic compost for your already rain-drenched but verdant garden. Who knows? They could be better than eggshells for your tomatoes!
7) Ruminators can rejoice too! The seventeen-year stretch between cicadas appearances provides glum types with the necessary fuel to really spiral downwards.
“Hey remember the last time the cicadas came? A lot has changed in your life since then, hasn’t it? But what have your accomplished.” Fixate on that, sad sack!
~Sincerely, Your Brain
Non-nerds might want to tune out for this next one . . .
8) The cicadas provide imaginative fodder for nerds and inside kids too. Readers of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series might imagine tiny, haughty people riding the cicadas like the dragon flies the Chevalier Tialys and Good Lady Salmakia are riding in the final novel. Just think of how they are going to show that in season 3 of the acclaimed series.
Are you a 4chan follower who is feeling like none of these positives are for you?
9) The cicadas can provide conspiracy aficionados with a wealth of juicy scenarios! For example, one might fixate on how nanotechnology could allow scientists to create microchips so small that they could be implanted into the tiny, young cicadas! Imagine how these tiny, unknowing pawns will fall to the ground at the end of their visit, only to stay dormant for 17 years, and emerge virile and ready to spread the evils of 5G, chemtrails, Bill Gate’s micro-chipped viruses, and tiny immigrants trying to cross the border. Post that on Parler!
Remember you heard it here first!
Have you seen the cicadas yet? What do you think? If you liked this post, don’t forget to subscribe. If you need a tutorial on how to subscribe, see this handy guide.
Till next time,
Katie
