Dear KitchenAid Blender,
On Wednesday, July 7th, 2021 we decided that you had officially left us from this world. We had been unsure for some time if you worked or not, but yesterday, after some inspection and testing, we decided to call it, you have been cleared to be thrown away.
It was a landmark day for us, as we can now officially start our online search for our next blender.
To some you were known as KitchenAid 5-Speed Classic Blender Model KSB560, to us you were more than this. You were a bi-monthly smoothie making work-horse and an occasional soup chunk smoother. You helped us make banana “ice cream” and you annually pureed butternut squash for our autumn macaroni and cheese.
You were originally received as a wedding present by an older sibling in the summer of 2001 and passed on to our loving home in 2013 when you were replaced by a Vitamix in your original residence. We lovingly used you a few times a month until this past spring when it became obvious that your blender coupler was too threadbare to turn your blades effectively.
[Sadly, your adopted owners called your demise before a thorough study into lifesaving measures were fully researched, excited by the prospect of a faster, more modern model.
“Maybe we could get something that can make nut sauces, maybe something cool like a Ninja,”.]
You will be brought to your transient resting place, a large plastic receptacle later today. You will begin your trip to your final place of internment, a landfill, on Friday, July 9th as long as garbage service is not delayed by the Independence Day Holiday, in which case your journey will begin on Saturday, July 10th or Monday, July 12th depending on when the garbage company can send a truck out.
Thank you for your service to our family over these past 8 years.
Sincerely,
The Nicholsons
Get a Nija! Love Mine.