[This piece is written for entertainment. I am not suggesting that you go out and steal toilet paper or MREs, but you could check out the book suggestions. I have edited this piece since it was orginally published since I am often up against the clock of my children waking up from naps.]
How To Get Toilet Paper
1. When the real stores are out of toilet paper, all is not lost. My suggestion is that you buy Yourself some of those toilet paper keys online. If you have ever had to change out a roll of toilet paper at work you might know that most public bathroom toilet paper dispensers open with a small, often plastic key. I learned in my research for this blog post that every toilet paper dispenser company has a different key. Walmart sells a set of the 15 most popular toilet paper keys. If pressed for toilet paper, you could visit public bathrooms and take theirs.
How to Get Tiny Cereal Boxes and Other Breakfast Things
2. Many hotels advertise that they give out free breakfast with one nights’ stay. Don’t stay at the hotel, unless that’s what you want to do. I am instead suggesting that you visit hotel lobbies between the hours of 7-10 am in the morning. Most hotel clerks are so busy dealing with check outs that they are not looking to see who is actually a hotel guest. Also the clerks do not know how all the hotel guests are. Just play it cool and score some tiny boxes of Frosted Flakes, small yogurt containers, tiny jelly and peanut butter containers.
Speaking of hotels, there are others things a person could get at hotels if they look in the right places. Ladies, this one if for you. . .
How to Score Feminine Hygiene Products
3. While you are in the hotel taking things from the breakfast bar, visit the public bathroom, you might be able to score some free tampons or pads. Nice hotels and conference centers often provide these for free.
[An aside: If you can get a keycard at a hotel, try opening doors with your keycard. I am not suggesting that you try opening doors to guest rooms. Instead, while you are in the elevator try swiping your key card near the buttons of the elevator. Some hotels have suits or special rooms reserved for star rewards members. These suits have free snacks and coffee. They might have a refrigerator full of free soda, chocolate bars, and bags of chips that you could take for your stash.]
4. Check out the bathrooms of institutions like the colleges and fancy workplaces. At one of my current jobs, hint, it’s not the public library, I consider one of the perks to be the free feminine hygiene products. I also once had an internship at a nicer workplace and it also provided free femine products. To glean these babies, dress nicely and walk in the the workplace pretending to be a client or vendor. Ask where the bathrooms are and bring a big bag.
How to Score Free Entertainment
5. What if the internet goes down becaue all the internet service provider workers get the virus? You are going to need some entertainment. Don’t forget to hit up the Leave a book-Take a book shelves that might be in hotel lobbies, little free libraries and other places.
Ideas for Places to Buy Supplies if Regular Stores are sold out
6. Big Lots: They have a really great selection of dry cereals and very good prices. In fact, I used to frequent a Big Lots in Pottstown that was nowhere near my place because it had a great selection of Bob’s Red mill cereals that where less expensive than the grocery store.
7. Army/ Navy Surplus Stores: Go here for your MRE’s, Meals Ready to Eat. These are military rations. Each one has like 2,000 calaries. They are ready to eat and actually pretty delicious. I was in ROTC for one sememster in college and they served them to us more than once. I was impressed. Hopefully, they are available at your local surplus store.
Get the Proper Reference Books. I am nothing if not at a librarian at heart. Go out and get these books if it suits you.
8. I don’t know how many of you remember a syndicated news paper column called Hints from Heloise but I feel like if we are quarantined for any length of time, she is the person who I would like to turn to. Hints from Heloise used to appear in our local paper, The Daily American, every weekday, at least. She could tell you how to clean windows with the newspaper you already had and vinegar for a streak free shine. I remember a column I clipped when I was a teenager about how you can save your old hosiery and put scraps of old soap bars in them and either made them into liquid soap by soaking or mold them into new soap bar. Long story short, if supplies run out, it is going to be Heloise’s moment again. So anyway, Heloise is still alive and well and has a website with all of her fabulous hints, so click here to check it out or track down a copies of her books at your local library.
9. Speaking of having a moment again, Foxfire Books are going to have a moment again if we end up with closed stores and exhausted supplies. I have said for several years that Mr. Katie and I really need to get on procuring some Foxfire books by Eliot Wigginton on Abebooks or other used book websites. I first learned about this series when I worked with hippies as an environmental educator. My parents might have also had some in their attic as they were very DIY when I was little. According to the titles, the series is a reference for log cabin building, midwifery, snake lore, hog dressing, and fiddle making among other things.
Of course you can also steal condiments from fast food restaraunts and creamers and sugars from Sheetz and Wawa.
How are you getting by right now? Reply in the comments section.
